My Mother's Tribute to My Father (1994)

On Fixing Things

As I grow older, memory of my younger years seems to be getting stronger in me. My younger brother (also a senior citizen) and I spend hours on the phone recalling our childhood in vivid detail. We often talk about how our father used to fix things at home - be it a cycle, an electrical appliance or a leaking faucet. My father had a collection of assorted tools and spare parts including screws, bolts, nuts and washers - all stored in a box. Besides watching with awe the intricate fixing process, my brother and I served as helpers in fetching the tools and components needed for the job.  

In early 1940's, my father bought a brand new 'Rudge' bicycle. This is the only cycle he ever bought and he kept it in perfect working condition throughout his entire working life. With regular care and maintenance, we kept most of our old household devices and equipment. We had a manual coffee grinder, a 'primus' kerosene stove that worked well for 30 years until it was sold to a neighbor, a wood-fired boiler that provided hot water regularly everyday for our family needs with very little maintenance -- the list can go on.

My mother was raised in a small village and did not have high school education. However, she was very good at fixing many intangible things. She fixed our minor ailments and injuries with simple age-old home remedies. She helped cure stomach upsets by making us eat tender 'neem' leaves with curd, apply oiled and heated salt on minor hurts/bruises, and so on. Except on an emergency, we seldom went to a doctor.

On fixing strained human relationships, my mother was superb. The finest skill she demonstrated was in fixing hopelessly broken relationships between people -both young and old. She smoothly cemented many severely damaged friendships, made couples unite after years of separation, and actively promoted a close-knit feeling amongst our friends and relatives.

With our father as the only breadwinner, our home finances were often under severe pressure. Thanks to my mother - she effectively fixed the problematic money issues with innovative methods such as a home chit fund, getting instalment credit from vendors, and product barters. 

Instead of throwing out old machines, we fixed them to stay longer with us. The same applied to human beings. We kept our aging parents and elderly relatives with care and love even if they were infirm. We managed to fix minor irritants and discords in married life and went on with our relationships.

Looking back, I think it was a wonderful way of life. We fixed almost anything and made them last longer.

Today, we witness sweeping changes around the world. Growing affluence and the flood of new products have led to drastic changes in life styles. It seems to be a world that seeks to quickly replace rather than repair. The trend seems to impact human relationships too as we see more battles, break-ups and divorces!

Admittedly, there is more wealth around. Is it accompanied by more happiness?

Hobbies for Seniors # 2

The Hobby of Writing

Today (July 4) is American Independence Day. I am on vacation and write this from my hotel in Niagara Falls, Canada. It is a beautiful morning!

Is writing a hobby? Many are into the profession of writing but I still think it is a good hobby for seniors.

For me personally, the hobby started when as a kid. I enjoyed writing letters to penfriends. I had many friends around the globe but two of them are worth  mentioning here. One was Kouichi Adachi from Japan and the other was Lars Billquist from Sweden. I never ever dreamt that someday I will meet them and spend a few days with them in their homes. Surprisingly, all three got married in the same year and continued correspondence for over three decades.

Writing provides me personal pleasure and sometimes profits too! As an experiment, I wrote two E-books titled, “Anger Management- Lessons from the Ancient” and “Mantras and Management.” They were published by smashwords.com. I earned some money through the sale of these books and still keep getting occasional royalties. It gives me a nice feeling!

What to write? Write anything of interest to you. Let your mind wander a bit. Join a yahoo group that interests you and write your views. Write to stay in touch with your friends and relatives, though many think making a phone call is easier. Write on matters related to religion, music, sports whatever your interests are. The comments from readers will make you think and you can expand your circle of friends.

One Mr. Gopalakrishnan, a retired telephone official, writes on the most uncommon topics that includes a bewildering variety of items ranging from household items like kitchen vessels and karandi to cooking and Hindu deities. His writings make very interesting reading.

Start a blog of your own. Put down your thoughts like in a diary. You can laugh at it sometime later.

Writing is a good pastime. Try it out yourself! 

Happy Independence day!

Habits Die Hard

As a kid, I often wondered why some of our family friends and relatives, especially from villages, observed so many rituals. To me, at that time, they seemed boring and meaningless. Little did I realize that many of the rituals they performed developed into life-time habits – like a daily bath in cold water, prayers, physical work, eating fresh vegetarian food and so on. When you form a habit of rising early, it stays. If you are used to drinking a hot cup of coffee early in the morning, the habit stays - I can vouch for this from my personal experience!

I learnt over time that we are all creatures of habit and if you make good habits, good habits will make you. This wisdom has been around since ancient times. Aristotle once said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."

Habits begin early and get ingrained in the mind. They can be friends or foes. Good habits can make our lives easier. But then, bad habits are easy to catch on, especially from parents, friends, or peers. Smoking, chewing paan or tobacco, alcoholism are some examples.  

Here's the point: Habits—good or bad—are often difficult to break ... they Die Hard!

Whether a habit plays a positive force in our lives or becomes an obstacle to the goals we want to achieve, it becomes ingrained through repeated actions.

How to break bad habits? The secret is to replace them with habits that are constructive.

As creatures of habit, we often struggle with breaking bad habits. To win—to break self-defeating attitudes and behaviors—we must understand that we have the power to choose and the power to change. We have the power to let go of negative thinking and adopt the mindset of a champion.

I believe that the subconscious mind is a lot more powerful than the conscious mind.  For example, while driving a car and carrying on a conversation with someone beside you or over cellphone, the conscious mind is attending to what is being talked while the subconscious mind is turning on the turn signal, hitting the brakes, attending to oncoming traffic,  watching the rear and side mirrors, regulating our breathing, planning our next move and on and on. The subconscious mind is so vast and so powerful that we do not even know what it is thinking or capable of. It truly runs our lives—whether we believe it or not! I think many of our ancient rituals were designed to help us strengthen the subconscious mind and control the conscious mind from straying into the field of undesirable habits.

Habits die hard but you can still change habits through mind-power. It is never too late!